I often look at the past and realize my stupidity. But today, I have just come to learn something, if such is my remembrance of the past, am I not then stupid today? In the irony of such a statement, it would be known then that I would not be able to have such an epiphany unless, of course, I weren’t as my notion of present stupidity stated.
I wonder how I get into all of these paradoxes. It seems to allude me, but if I figure out how or why I’ve come to be so tied into them, I cannot fathom the outcome. I wonder…
So I feel like breaking up the bad poetry for a moment and just state that I’m almost done with the Final Fantasy retrospective from GameTrailers.com. I can’t believe I missed so much in gaming. At least with Zelda, I played a good portion of the games and with Metroid, I played a fourth of Super Metroid, about the same amount for the first GBA Metroid game, and have nearly beaten Metroid Prime 3. Final Fantasy has been so far out of my radar. I’ve always been a fan of Namco’s “Tales of” games in the RPG genre, and I don’t seem to know why.
I seem to have so many memories of me not understanding things, just not getting things I really should’ve even in growth. Like, I’d look back on something from my past when I was in high school and still not understand things. It seems I’ve only gotten such a grasp on life in the last 4-9 months. College revealed a lot, but reality didn’t quite catch up to me until it figured out I’d been avoiding it for a couple years.
Either way, story elements I feel like I used to get and understand, but not really, and then somewhere in my lifetime, I forgot everything, and then I regained my knowledge in various bits which have grown more and more until a most traumatic event in the summer of 2006. Since then, I seemed to have slowly lost most of my knowledge of the arts and struggled to keep my sanity along with my self-taught knowledge of emotions. After one final event, I lost control and ended up where I am today, trying to figure out what I’d forgotten. There’s a lot of stuff I used to know that I don’t seem to know anymore, and I really try hard to understand why I’m feeling certain ways when different events come up.
I have a lot to learn still I guess. How far do I need to go? I mean, I know bits and pieces of what I don’t know which is even more of a paradoxical statement, but then, there’s all the stuff I truly know is currently beyond my own comprehension, and they’ve been brought before me, but not directly. I can only fathom what it is I am to learn. There is currently no future in my view so I’m not feeling very well looking towards a void where there really shouldn’t be anything, but there is.