I IM’d someone else, but I will be posting here just my half of the conversation so it feels as if you’re having the conversation with me.

Hmm. Do you ever look back at old pics and say life used to be better or things just seemed happier? I tend to have lots of them in bunches here and thereI miss going around and taking pictures and enjoying things and just being outrageously happy and in love and extremely excited so much so that the walls would fall apart I was vibrating so much. I was like a little kidit took the summer and winter after my first year in college to come down to reality . What happened? It’s sad knowing that no matter how good your life is now, it hasn’t yet lived up to the past.

My findings conclude excitement. For me to truly be happy, I need to be excitable, to be excited, and to enjoy the thrill and the excitement w/o thinking that I’m going to do something wrong or something bad is going to happen or to worry about how others are feeling because that really does NOT matter at all. Maybe if I was happy again, they would be too. It could quite possibly be that I am bringing others down. I’ll see what I can do about enjoying myself and enjoying life again now that I am not busy at all.

http://www.songza.com/

I was told about this amazing site that is completely legal. Awesome huh?

I opened up my Facebook again because I am helping a guy bug-test the Windows version of his Facebook chat plugin for Pidgin as well as the Skype one. So I was telling Abby that this would be a great time to show her old Facebook messages and stuff, but I didn’t know it would be so hard to read all of this stuff. I know I was pretty stupid, but it’s so painful to read all of that. I just didn’t know. Worse yet, I’m pretty sure I still have the same tenancies today, but I’m just unaware of them. At least I’m learning a lot about myself and my forgotten past. It was also strange having to delete over 300 former Facebook friends. That incident in December of 2006 really changed me. I can’t say I’m the same person now as I was then. There was just so much that changed from May 2006 following up to December and into February up until March 2007 where I basically lost all touch with who I was and took measures to get over my traumatic past.

It is now the present day. Going back and looking at things over two years old, it’s strange to see how a lot of things could have been prevented if I wasn’t such a softie and if I had learned to be calm and no to off of the walls excited. It’s still very tough to believe that most of this happened because of one girl. At least I’m finally able to confront my past. A lot has happened since then, and I’m a lot stronger because of it. I only hope that I don’t make the same mistakes again.

Ah. On one final note, I’m glad I’m so picky about who I make friends with or who I choose to talk to these days. If I hadn’t gotten this way, there’s a good chance I could’ve wound up in the wrong crowd again. What might seem pompous, with good intentions, leads to a life of bliss. Experience has taught me that.

– Kevin out

P.S. I’m going to see Abby for a week in the beginning of June. I’m pretty darn happy about that. That makes it so I have gotten to see her in March, April, May, and June. And then December and August as well. Freakin’ awesome!

My girlfriend loves me. This is good since I love her. Guess that’s always good.

– Kevin out
:/
hee hee